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How Diamondbacks dads hold baseball, fatherhood in balance
In many ways, Major League Baseball players are in an enviable position. They make good money. They play a game for a living. They have an offseason that spans several months.
But for those who have kids, there is one aspect of the job that is unequivocally terrible.
“The older they get,” Diamondbacks reliever Scott McGough said, “the more they’re like, ‘Daddy, where are you going?'”
McGough and his wife, Lauren, have a three-year old daughter, Dakota, and a one-year-old son, Griffin. When McGough leaves for an extended road trip, he knows that his kids do not fully understand.
Diamondbacks manager Torey Lovullo — whose career as a player and manager now spans upward of 40 years — recalls his daughter, Taylor, having a particularly hard time at a young age when he would leave for spring training.
“She would basically hug me all the way to the car,” Lovullo said.
As a parent, being gone a lot does not just mean heartbreaking goodbyes. It means missing out on big moments.
“I’ve missed first steps,” said Diamondbacks catcher Tucker Barnhart, who has two sons, six-year-old Dakota and three-year-old Benson. “I’ve missed first words. I’ve missed all the things throughout my career, and it sucks. It’s things you’ll never get back.”
Barnhart’s wife, Sierra, and kids live in Indianapolis for most of the year. Only in the past few weeks did they join Barnhart for the summer in Phoenix. They will head back to Indianapolis in late July to be ready for the new school year.
Barnhart’s older son, Dakota, recently started playing baseball. Barnhart has hardly seen him play in person. “Watching via videos that my wife sends me sucks,” Barnhart said.
Even for players whose families are located locally, home series do not necessarily equate to extensive family time.
“You have a week at home,” said Diamondbacks closer Paul Sewald, who has two young daughters, Chloe and Hayden, “but I left today at 1:30 [p.m]. I’m not going to come back until both my girls are asleep.”
Still, Sewald tries to maximize the time that he has with his kids in the mornings. He drives them where they need to go. He tries to give his wife, Molly, some time to run errands or do other activities.
But then, there are the road trips.
Some players’ families accompany them on the road, but it is easier said than done — and a lot for a single mom to handle.
“It’s a 30-minute trip to Sky Harbor,” Sewald said, “and then you have an hour and a half until your flight is. Now you’re looking at two hours that you have to try to occupy [the kids]. Then, you have your flights. Then, you have getting your luggage.
“It’s a process.”
When players do not have their families with them on the road, FaceTime becomes all the more important.
Of course, when families stay home, the reunion at the end of the road trip is a big event.
McGough has developed something of a routine with his three-year-old daughter.
“Daddy, did you bring home a treat?” she asks.
Then, McGough presents some sort of candy bar to snack on or a stuffed animal to add to her collection.
Diamondbacks reliever Joe Mantiply, who has two daughters ages two and four, said that he likes to have family outings in the swimming pool after long road trips. Trampoline parks are also a favorite family activity.
Sewald enjoys being able to help with his kids’ bedtime routine, when they tend to be particularly rambunctious. “That’s the worst burden on my wife,” he said. “I feel like I’m majorly helping when I can do that.”
Time for these activities is short. Nonetheless, Diamondbacks dads seem to agree that they would not trade being a father for anything else.
“It makes the rough days at the field a lot less rough when you’re able to go home and see your family, see your wife, see your kids,” Barnhart said. “They don’t really give a damn if I go 0-for-4 or 4-for-4. It’s really put things in perspective.”
Said McGough: “They get to come on trips and see the big-league life and how awesome it can be if you work hard at your dream. It’s kind of cool and inspiring for them. I know my daughter’s kind of getting to the age that she can realize it now, being almost four.”
To be clear, major leaguers do not lack resources. They have access to what many parents around the country wish they did. Nonetheless, their time is strained for eight months out of the year, and no lofty contract can replace lost time with kids.
For parents in the Diamondbacks clubhouse and across the league, the hope is that, eventually, they will be able to be as present as they always wished they could.
“I am very blessed to be where I’m at,” Barnhart said. “I’ve got a lot of life ahead of me, and things that I’ll get to enjoy with [my kids] as they get older.
“I’m really looking forward to whenever that happens.”
Top photo: Rick Scuteri/USA TODAY Sports
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